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Clester Castle for Pietrica Roz

Clester Castle for Pietrica Roz

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thank you Chef for giving me the opportunity to take my silicone castle with virtual yellows! I made a blue coconut cake with him also for Deea's 3 year old party that I caress my pink Pietricica, because we have a little story: when I was pregnant, but I still didn't know what sex the baby would have, I had a deep dream in which I was in an ancient underground museum and an old man with soft white hair took from a window a small pebble oval pink diaphanous and put it in my palm saying 'take care of it, it is "I soon found out that I have a little girl and since then I say that she was my dream pink pebble :)

  • 5 eggs
  • 200 g flour
  • 100 g of sugar
  • 1 cup coconut peel and white chocolate
  • 1 baking powder Dr. Otker
  • 1 vanilla essence
  • 1 pinch of salt
  • pt.decor candies Belgique D'Or chocolate seafood.

Servings: -

Preparation time: less than 60 minutes

RECIPE PREPARATION Pliers Castle for Pietrica Roz:

I prepared the silicone form by washing it well and drying it. I then separated the yolks from the egg whites and beat them separately, the egg whites with a pinch of salt, and the yolks with the sugar and vanilla essence. I put them together and then I added blue coconut with white chocolate chocolate flakes and flour with baking powder. Then I poured in the shape of a silicone castle and put it in the preheated oven.

I let it brown and then garnished it with chocolate seafood all around.


In my youth a song was very popular, which said, among other things:

That he is not a man not to have written a poem
At least once, only once in his life.
This poem is forgotten, hidden in the chest
Until one day you find her.

And smiling, you wipe away a late tear
Fold the paper back and tell yourself

That he is not a man not to have written a poem
At least once, only once in his life.

Living now in the electronic age, I found two poems in an email and I remembered that I had a notebook somewhere in the closet, on which I tried my talent (if any) in poetry, at a time when inspiration it came to me especially when I felt alone and inconsolable. I will publish a few below (there aren't too many of them, for reasons that are easy to understand: I would eventually find someone to comfort me and take me out of the barrel with melancholy), and I will end with the ones in the email.

In fact, I have published my own, more recent production, I don't know how many of my readers have noticed that I am the author, I won't give a link, but just a hint (I don't like the Romanian tip): has the Poetry label.

The need for tenderness

Hidden in the intimate bosom of love
The need for tenderness finds its place
It is defeated by the hidden enemies of nature
Disregarding the gentle, warm soroc.

Question marks fall on my forehead
And I can't find shelter in peace
From books I beg for sun signs
To show me my secret purpose.

The burning of immortality burns me hard
But I feel like she's wasting herself
With the soul in the claw loneliness
My youth goes away every year.

In vain I want to put the brakes on time
With my poor crazy anxiety!

Forgive me, Father, old love!
Let it slide smoothly into nothingness
Always a couple!
Give me, Heavenly Father, a new heart
To be pure, forever bathed in dew!
Don't leave her wandering among the stars
The water of oblivion sipping it from them.


You didn't leave it on the window,
Let the splashes of the sun come
To anoint me with light
To make you look as human as possible?

You didn't leave the stars
To break silver threads
Giving them a lie
Did I come from heaven like them?

You didn't leave it in the clouds
Take my silk coat
And with him to enter your house
In the evening, and leave at dawn?

You haven't left since the moon
To collect raindrops
And from their drops of grace
Shall I crown others?

You didn't leave the poplars
To gather tears and sighs
Get away from you
And bury myself in them?


Twisted palms
Bad and crazy
In the gesture that seems
To be in prayer
And my soul calls you
It struggles like a sea
The bill absorbs it
If I can't see,
And lips, what tense
I feel them, like a jar
A single name cries out
And call him in vain,
Like maybe right now
You kiss another
You forgot about me.
You can't help but look at me!

The moment of goodbye is not far away
Honey, I'm waiting for her to be born.
I feel broken bones, like a saint
I'm not pure, the moment scares me.
Liane, arms are pointing at you
Humble, submissive, young, waiting for you.
Only mine remain motionless
There is no prayer in their gesture!

I'm looking for you

And I still don't get it
Everything I think
And I still don't get into words
Everything I want to tell you.
In vain I close my palm
It's just ashes in the fist.
I open my eyes in vain
I can't see you.
And I'm still looking around
Just your beauty:
I hurry in vain
That I can't find you.

An old superstition says that if you manage to catch a flying dandelion flake you will be lucky.

My luck
Locked in a cage.
Dear dandelion flake.
I look at him often
Si-n taina il dezmierd
With gentle and kind eyes
For fear of losing him.
Thinking of my house
To take flight
And to sanctify me
Threshold and porch
Any kind of heart
Not to know him
And hide it
Another cage.

Later I wrote poems for the birthday of the girls or the niece, I reproduce here two, found in the email whose turn it was to archive. For confidentiality, I will use my niece's internet name (at the family's request), and not the real one.

Lie, eternal chicks,
Long occasion of joy!
Your flower fragility
The light is sunny.

Your good heart
Leganata and the moon,
The caress is of the stars
The happiness of my life!

Deer have come
To admire you at sunset.
The trees are full of birds
And you laugh at them.

Your bell voice
The tiny suburb
He deceives him happily
Running down the valley.

You are in everything, in everything
You're in the sun, you're in the stars,
You are in bloom and you are in the moon
My good niece

Thoughts on the anniversary of March 2002

Have I fulfilled my purpose in this great world?
Is there nothing new for me under the sun?
Is waiting for my end all I have left?
Should I take my life carefully, one step and one step again?

My loved ones are far away, at the end of the earth
Or another head of the soul, if I can't reach it.
I don't care about them anymore, by gesture or word.
That's all I have left: to be patient, not to complain.

I always do my job, it's work in vain,
Nothing is precious, for it is not desired,
But I have a joy, in one, and again,
I did not live in vain: in life I loved!

Pliers Castle for Pietrica Roz - Recipes

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Fri, 10 Mar 2017 18:57:28 +0000

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Wed, 12 Sep 2012 09:25:21 +0000

Sun, 26 Aug 2012 23:00:00 +0000

Tue, 21 Aug 2012 11:27:48 +0000 Thank you Alex Bunea for great photos!

Cluj Napoca Brides Salon

Location: Expo Transilvania

During the Salon of the Brides wedding fair, the brides from Cluj had the opportunity to meet a lot of suppliers of services and products for weddings, thus taking advantage of the best prices and analyzing in detail all the offers.

Thank you AD Photography for the photos taken during the wedding fair!

Dream parties Arad

Location: Expo Arad International

The wedding fair in Arad has become over the years one of the most appreciated wedding fairs in the country. The impressive number of suppliers and the way they present their products attract every year more and more visitors as well as suppliers even from abroad.

Timisoara wedding fair

Location: Iulius Mall

Iulius Mall successfully organized the third wedding fair in Timisoara, completing with new offers and suppliers the other two wedding fairs held in Timisoara. The free access during the fair gathered many future brides in search of the most advantageous offers.

Thank you Alex Bunea for great photos!

Galati story wedding

Location: Havana Restaurant

The Fairytale Wedding Fair took place for the first time this year, bringing together a lot of suppliers specialized in the field of weddings and thus attracting a large audience consisting of future brides from Galati and beyond.

Thanks to the team Photo Passion for gorgeous photos!

Sibiu Wedding Days Sibiu

Location: Transylvania Hall

Another novelty of 2012 was the Sibiu Wedding Days wedding fair. With an impeccable organization, the fair took place in excellent conditions, the organizers preparing a busy program dedicated to future brides.

Thank you David Postatny for the great photos!

Art Marriage Satu Mare

Location: Luceafarul Cinema

The future bride and groom from Satu Mare and not only found countless sources of inspiration and special services during the Art Marriage wedding fair and having direct contact with the suppliers they took advantage of the best prices and discounts.

Thanks to the photographers Dan Bale and Eduard Zichor for the special collaboration!

Wedding from A to Z Baia Mare

Location: CCI Training and Marketing Center

As every year, the A to Z Wedding fair organized in Baia Mare was a success, offering future brides a diverse range of products, services and information needed to organize a special wedding. The suppliers presented their offers in an impeccable way, attracting the eyes of all visitors.

Thank you Vasi Vasut for great photos!

Everything for your Sibiu wedding

Location: Army House

As the name suggests, the wedding fair "Everything for your wedding" offered future brides the full range of services needed to organize a dream event. The future brides who visited the fair had the opportunity to talk directly with the suppliers, finding out all the information they needed.

Thank you Consuela Borcila for taking beautiful photos!

Constanta Wedding Fair

Location: EuroLitoral Center

The wedding fair in Constanta brought together over 40 specialized companies from Constanta, Bucharest, as well as from other counties of the country, providing future brides with a complete range of information and products useful for organizing the most beautiful event in life.

Thank you Mihai Dragnescu for great photos!

Timisoara Wedding Hall

Location: International Business Center

The wedding fair The Brides' Salon ended the season of the wedding fairs in Timisoara, offering the future bride and groom complete offers for organizing the wedding. The over 40 suppliers present at the fair have prepared attractive offers for all tastes.

Thanks to the photographer Alex Bunea for the special collaboration!

Brides of the Year Brasov

Location: International Trade Center

The future brides from Brasov found complete offers for organizing the wedding within the wedding fair of the Bride of the Year, a fair organized as always by the International Trade Center Brasov.

Thank you Mag! C Photo for beautiful photos!

Bacau Wedding Fair

Location: Central Plaza Bacau

For the ninth year in a row, the Bacau Wedding Fair pampers the future bride and groom with the best offers for organizing the dream wedding. During the fair, the future bride and groom found offers for all tastes and pockets.

Thank you Wedding Photo Art for the beautiful collaboration!

Wedding Fever Craiova

Location: National Theater & quotMarin Sorescu & quot

The Wedding Fever wedding fair has already accustomed the future bride and groom with the excellently organized editions inside the National Theater & quotMarin Sorescu & quot. The suppliers presented during the fair the latest trends related to the organization of a dream wedding in 2012.

Thank you Cristian Conea for the wonderful photos!

Wedding Fest Bucharest

Location: Constitution Square

Already in its ninth edition, the Mariage Fest wedding fair, known until now as E-Mariage Fest, broke a new record both in terms of the qualitative organization of the fair and in terms of the longest train in the world.

Thank you Tudor Raiciu for the special collaboration!

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Fri, 23 Mar 2012 13:42:21 +0000 White Style presents the new collection of wedding dresses LA SPOSA 2012, a refined, varied and exclusive collection. The dresses are distinguished by their elegant design, sensational date applications, crystals, embroidery and spectacular jewelry.

The dresses flatter with every detail, with meticulously processed and rich materials such as taffeta, tulle and premium satin. The LA SPOSA collection offers different types of dresses, the classic design with majestic wide skirts, the avant-garde design, the elegant design thus managing to make each bride feel unique.

Also, La Sposa veils are amazing and flattering, completing the perfect look for an unforgettable bride.

We are waiting for you at the salon White Style Sibiu to help you find the wedding dress that will make you shine on the most important day of your life.

Wed, 14 Mar 2012 17:03:22 +0000

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The next article will be about our adventures in search of the ideal location. In fact, it will not be a single article, because I would not be able to cram everything I saw in such a small space. I will put pictures for you and I will tell you in detail what we found, what we liked and what we gave up. Until then, I wish you much preparation!

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Fri, 27 Jan 2012 16:01:38 +0000 Miu / verighete: Sebastian Gold Bucuresti

We look back and see our close friends and families who supported us in fulfilling our wedding dream: outdoor wedding at the foot of the mountains - Adina & amp Iosif

& quot; The decor we thought of had a musical theme, because music has been present in our love story from the very beginning. So we talked to an acquaintance who carves in wood to make us some musical notes to hang in the tent. The testimonies I chose were bookmarks in the form of musical notes. Also, the decorations at the bride and groom's table were inspired by the musical theme. & Quot

& quot; The wedding day was full of emotion, music, sunflower, turquoise, brown, fresh air, the presence of God, lots of friends and wonders. I work miracles because indeed God held the rain in His hand five miles away - as I had prayed to Him. & Quot

& quot; Our faces showed the joy that flowed from the fact that the wedding day had finally arrived. The church where the religious service took place was not spacious, but we tried not to be disturbed in any way. & Quot

"How could we have neglected the little ones?" That's why we chose to have a boy and a girl who are very passionate about children, to entertain them, to play with them, to paint their faces and to have a moment of their own in which to wish the bride and groom well. The people were pampered by the fresh mountain air, the good atmosphere, and the children had a great time. & Quot

To the question & quotIf you could turn back time, what would you do differently?& quot Adina answers us:

& quot. It is useful that in addition to the bride and groom there is a person who takes over all the details, and this about a month before the wedding. I felt, for the last hundred meters, that I end up getting lost in details, in lists and I couldn't see the whole thing. Then I thought that if I delegate part of the organization to other people, the whole thing will look good, but there was no person to "weld" everything. & Quot

Nothing deserves to steal your joy on your wedding day! If you are a perfectionist and you don't want to suffer, try to take into account that not everything works out the way you planned. - Adina

We now leave you in the company of the beautiful photos from the gallery, taken by Kalura Photography Craiova.

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Tue, 27 Dec 2011 11:16:18 +0000

Mon, 26 Dec 2011 15:02:47 +0000

Thu, 09 Aug 2012 10:54:36 +0000 Next time I will tell you about how I started the first wedding preparations. Until then, I'm waiting for your love stories on the Lady Cozac facebook page. Put a picture with you to get to know each other. The one that will gather the most likes until January 3, 2012 will receive a prize! The prize will be an A3 calendar for 2012 personalized for each month with your couple pictures. If you do not want your story to be public, you can send me a few lines by email [email protected] I will be happy to read them!

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 18:44:21 +0000

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Tue, 29 Nov 2011 11:37:16 +0000 . It was really fascinating to see an entire room rising from the tables, curious and eager to find out what it is all about. It aroused a whole joy and good mood among the guests. & Rdquo Andreea Stanciucu, the bride.

Each guest had to come to the map to get a ticket from a country where he would have liked to travel. On each note were written, randomly, three songs. When one of these songs was sung, the guests who had the & ldquonorocos & rdquo ticket had to get up to dance. Such people who did not know each other, at the end of a song, were like friends.

& ldquoA very funny moment related to the theme of the wedding was a dance that you chose from a ticket caught on a map of the world placed in the hall, and which aroused a lot of curiosity at first, then laughter and finally a lot of joy, provoked of all the dance styles we've all tried & rdquo. Christmas Madalina-Cristina, guest.

For the realization of this article I "plotted" with the bride and I hope that the insertion of the guests' opinions will be helpful. Now I leave the last word to the bride: & ldquoAll we wanted was to make those around us as happy as possible with small deeds that brighten their lives. I think we managed to do wonderful things through the impression we created, that of a trip. At least the guests & ldquocalatorit & rdquo & rdquo from one table to another to see what countries I have especially! These things that delighted our minds and souls would not have been possible without the help of the wonderful Lady Cozac. & Rdquo

P.S. You can only do wonderful things when you work with wonderful people!

You can now order special models of Lady Cozac brand wedding invitations from the Bazaar.

The story of the letters

Children, in order to learn to write, must know all the letters. Only if the letters are friendly and they understand that a word is written with the help of several letters, then the children will be able to read and write correctly.

In the Land of Stories, elves worked from dawn to dusk to write as many story books as possible. A special day for children was approaching and they wanted each child to receive a new storybook.

One leprechaun arranged the paper and prepared it for printing, another leprechaun carried bags of letters from the Old Alphabet, and another prepared the ink for printing. Mos Alfabet he was the oldest leprechaun, he was the one who made the letters in his workshop. In the workshop, he had big, small, thicker, thinner letters, neatly arranged in boxes. In one box, there was only the letter A of various sizes and colors, in another only the letter B, in another only the letter C, so you could find all the letters of the alphabet when you needed them.

The Story Magician writes the stories. For a few days, he was working on a storybook in his workshop. He had begun to write another story. The story began like this: "There was once a mother who had two cute children who lived in a diamond castle…"The Magician of Stories had intended this to be the last story he wrote that day, because he felt very tired. He had written many, many stories in one day. Try writing again: "The castle is at the bottom of a sea of ​​pliers… Mmmm! what a sleep I had He said The Magician of Stories as he dropped his glasses from his nose and fell asleep with his head on the table.

While magician asleep, the letters began to talk to each other:

- I don't like the story to start with the letter A. Why start: It was once? said the dissatisfied letter M. The story should start like this: My mother had two cute children. Not the letter M is the most important? Mother she is the one who gives life to children and loves them very much.

- No, the story should start like this: It was once… the letter intervened in the discussion A.

- Aren't I the first letter of the alphabet? The alphabet begins like this: A, B, C, D, E and don't start with the letter M.

"What you are saying is completely wrong," said the letter C. The story should start with the letter C and sound like this: "The cute children lived in a diamond castle. ” The Story Magician writes stories for children. So I am the most important letter. The word BOYS start with the letter C

- In vain do you keep arguing, because I am the most important letter in the alphabet said the letter D. What do children like best? Sweets, of course. And the word sweets does not begin with the letter D?

"But you forget one thing," said the letter P. Kids love stories the most. So I'm the most important letter. The word story start with the letter P.

From so much noise, the Magician of Stories had woken up. He had never heard the letters quarrel in his life. He listened to the discussion, although he seemed to be asleep, and at one point he intervened in the discussion and said:

- All the letters are important. I'll tell you why. The word MOTHER you can't just write it with the letter M, you also need the letter A. MOTHER. And for the word BOYS, you need more letters. This word is written like this: C-O-P-I-I.

"Do you think only the first letter of the word matters?" Only the letter matters D, because it starts with the letter D, the word sweets? Not! We need to know and use the other letters in order to write the words correctly.

Children, in order to learn to write, must know all the letters. Only if the letters are friendly and they understand that a word is written with the help of several letters, then the children will be able to read and write correctly.

- Take a look at our workshop! We work in a team. We help each other. Mos Alfabet he makes letters, another leprechaun brings them to my workshop, another prepares the ink, some paper, another draws the book cover, and the messenger leprechaun sends the books to the bookstores. I, alone, would not be able to do all these things in a short time.

I need friends to help me as much as you need each other so you can write the right words and sentences.

July 23, 2013

Beat the specialty stores and understand Kika

I often use those cylindrical plastic clothes lined with cooling gel that are kept in the freezer, made by Vacuvin, Fakelmann, etc. In summer they are the best solution, many times I don't feel like taking out ice, milkshake and other pompous accessories, so I always keep 2-3 in the freezer. In the case of more belly sparkling wines, however, they become annoying. Most of the time I cover them, in the end, but you have to be patient to melt them, to push them slowly. And in time it cracks. Last week I discovered in Kika (!) A better solution. Using the same technology, with gel bags inside, the BeCool cooler is made of isoprene, sectioned vertically, with a hedgehog-type grip. That's how I solved the problem of bloated bottles. With 35 lei. I hope the plastic containing the gel is flexible enough, because in the past I had unpleasant experiences with some containers that became brittle on first use. The store is worth a visit, it has some interesting accessories with the "wine" theme. Furniture, their core business, is very bad with prices. Despite discounts of up to 70%, I did not find any bargains. Well, I need a closet to keep all these toys in. Apart from the bed, dressing room, sofa, table, chairs, desk, kitchen, etc. 'Cuz I'm movin .. in that 85-point apartment :)

Huawei Mate 40 Pro phone

Prizes can be claimed within a maximum of 30 calendar days from the announcement of the winners, after which the right to claim is lost. In order to claim the prize, all winners are obliged to contact the marketing department at [email protected], by: mentioning the contest in which they participated, as well as the prize, name, surname, telephone number and address at which the prize will be sent to the winners in the province. The first and last name must match the ones filled in on the site, when posting the answer.

The winners from Bucharest can pick up their prize within a maximum of 30 calendar days from the claim, from Monday to Friday between 10:00 and 17:00 from the Ringier headquarters in Bd. Dimitrie Pompeiu, no. 9-9A, sector 2, Bucharest. The prize will be awarded only on the basis of the identity card / identity card.

In the case of the winners from the province, the prizes will be sent within 30 calendar days from the date of claiming the prizes.

Monday, January 30, 2012



in the Formula As magazine was published a call regarding the collection of various objects (beds, bowls), food for Laila's shelter in the Youth Park. The contact numbers belonged to Messrs. Adina and Olimpia. Let's try to help the shelter as best we can. I know that another time they did the collection at the August 23 rink. The same magazine publishes the call then.

About light bulbs

Since 2010, the European Union has banned the sale of normal incandescent bulbs with a power of more than 75 watts, and since 2013 of all these types of bulbs, under the pretext of "reducing carbon emissions". Instead, compact fluorescent bulbs known by several names are promoted: CFL (Compact fluorescent lamp) bulbs, economical bulbs (due to lower energy consumption) and even "green" bulbs. But are these light bulbs really "green" or is it just another marketing ploy as in the case of "green leather" and "green flooring" that emit toxic substances? It is already known that if an "ecological" light bulb is broken, it spreads dangerous amounts of mercury, fluorine and heavy metals, which once in nature and in groundwater can make us sick. Experts say that these substances severely affect the kidney system and the brain. If an energy-saving light bulb breaks, the French Commission for Consumer Protection recommends prolonged ventilation of the room. Also, use gloves and absorbent paper. Under no circumstances should the vacuum cleaner be used, as it will scatter mercury particles throughout the room. In addition, when these bulbs work, they emit other carcinogens. CFL-type light bulbs emit cancer-causing chemicals, German scientists have warned, as the safety of these bulbs is called into question. The researchers said that these bulbs should not be left on for long periods of time or placed near a person's head, as they emit toxic substances. Energy-saving light bulbs should not be used by adults to read or hold near children's heads, experts say (it is better not to use them at all in the home or office). German research shows that chemicals are released in the form of steam. Among them is phenol, a poison injected by the Nazis to kill the victims in the concentration camps, but also naphthalene and styrene. Tests show that the materials used to make light bulbs are likely to be responsible for their harmful side effects. "An electric smog appears around these bulbs. Therefore, they should be used as little as possible. They should not be used in unventilated areas and in no case near the head," says Andreas Kirchner, of the Federation of German Engineers. In addition, the use of economical CFL bulbs only increases the risk of breast cancer, say Israeli scientists. The explanation is that the new light bulbs emit a light spectrum slightly closer to that of natural light (compared to the "yellow" of classic light bulbs), which fools the human body, thus inhibiting the night production of the hormone called melatonin, reports The Telegraph. Melatonin protects us from several types of cancer, including breast and prostate cancer. This hormone is decisively influenced by the biological clock. For these reasons, if electricity consumption is not a problem, we recommend returning to the old types of incandescent bulbs (in the hope that they will still be on the market) or the option of using economical LED bulbs. Summary of disadvantages " CFLs: - are extremely dangerous if broken: they contain about 4 mg of mercury which is sprayed into the environment, and mercury is an element with strong effects on the nervous system, especially in children and pregnant women - after Defects cannot be thrown away, they must be recycled in separate containers - in some cases there are rashes on the skin due to certain wavelengths of light emitted by fluorescent bulbs, in addition they speed up the appearance of skin cancer - it must be at least 2 m distanta de cap, în acest caz neputând fi folosite la lămpile de birou - emană substanţe chimice care cauzează cancer printre care se numără fenolul, o otravă injectată de nazişti pentru a omorî victimele din lagărele de concentrare, dar şi naftalină şi stiren - polueaza cu emisii electromagentice periculoase spaţiul ambiant (case si birouri) cauzând efecte devastatoare asupra sanataţii, radiaţiile electromagnetice nenaturale produc boli organice, celulare, la nivelul organitelor celulare - provoaca migrene, neurologii constata tot mai multe acuze de dureri de cap şi migrene din partea persoanelor expuse la becurile fluorescente compacte

- unele becuri folosesc o tehnologie similară luminilor fluorescente, iar o parte dintre utilizatori s-au plans din cauza efectelor "de pâlpâire" - nu pot fi folosite cu întrerupatoare cu leduri sau cu variator, se pot arde foarte usor în acest mod şi chiar pot provoca incendii.

Zodii, diete, greutate

Pentru fiecare semn zodiacal, exista alimente ajuta la eliminarea rapida a grasimilor si altele care trebuie evitate

Cu toate eforturile, tot n-am scapat de kilogramele in plus. Oare de ce? Poate ca nu am ales alimentatia potrivita. Unii specialisti sustin ca intre zodie si obiceiurile alimentare ar exista unele corelatii. Astfel ca, oricat am incerca sa slabim, daca nu evitam anumite alimente nefavorabile zodiei, eforturile sunt in zadar. Ba chiar, rezervele de lipide cresc. Iata cateva sfaturi oferite de astrologi pentru o dieta de succes.

Unii ar crede ca intre astrologie si alimentatie nu exista nicio legatura. Exista insa specialisti care sustin ca rezultatele unei cure de slabire sunt nule daca nu respectam anumite reguli de alimentatie dictate de pozitia astrelor. Anticii, mai ales chinezii, au descoperit ca exista principii alimentare care guverneaza fiecare zodie. Daca le urmam, putem nu numai sa obtinem o silueta de vis, ci si o sanatate de fier. Totul se explica prin energiile cosmice imprimate la nastere fiecarui organism. Numai unele alimente, plante, minerale sunt benefice nativilor nascuti sub vibratiile specifice ale unei planete. insusi Hipocrate, parintele medicinii, afirma in scrierile sale: „Nunquam bonus medicus nisi astrologus“. Adica, „nu poti fi un medic bun fara a fi astrolog“. Evitand obiceiurile alimentare proaste si inlocuindu-le cu cele sanatoase, organismul va functiona mai bine. Asadar, daca dieta de pana acum nu a avut efect, incercati-o pe cea astrologica.

Berbecii prefera alimentele picante, bine condimentate. in dieta astrologica, li se recomanda un meniu diversificat. Atunci cand nu agreati un aliment, asociati-l cu unul care va place foarte mult. Berbecii au nevoie de mult exercitiu fizic pentru a se mentine in forma. Regimul lor alimentar trebuie sa cuprinda ceapa, morcovi si praz, sa nu faca exces de ardei iute, boia si mustar. Atunci cand apare o boala in forma acuta, ceaiul sau siropul de paducel vor face minuni pentru restabilirea cat mai rapida si completa a starii de sanatate. Berea este pentru Berbeci mai mult un aliment decat o bautura, e bine sa renunte la ea daca vrea sa slabeasca. Vitaminele care ii ajuta sa-si mentina forma maxima sunt PP si B12. Dieta ideala trebuie sa cuprinda: terci de ovaz, peste si legume, mai ales varza, ridichi si sfecla, marar, arpagic.

Taurilor le trebuie cereale

Nativii din Taur prefera alimentele naturale. Nu sunt adeptii conservelor, ci ai alimentelor proaspete, multicolore, fara sosuri sau condimente. Au tendinta de a manca tot felul de lucruri care ingrasa, sa deteste miscarea. Alimentele care sunt in rezonanta cu organismul Taurilor sunt: sparanghelul, anghinarea, cerealele si fasolea de orice fel. Fructele cele mai recomandabile sunt toate sortimentele de struguri, merele, perele si fructele de padure. Majoritatea condimentelor le fac bine. Plantele cu efect terapeutic pentru Tauri sunt menta, izma creata, cuisoarele si macrisul. Vitamina lor este vitamina F. sunt nativii cu cele mai mari probleme de greutate, fiind niste gurmanzi. De aceea, trebuie sa sstie cand sa se opreasca din mancat. Sa consume multe citrice si salate usoare, de varza si morcovi. sunt indicate si mazarea, spanacul, rosiile, chimenul, patrunjelul, mararul, menta. Daca nu pate fara carne, s-o aleaga pe cea de vita. Taurii trebuie sa evite tot ce e prajit.

Gemenii agreeaza mancarea usoara, cu arome combinate sau de fast food. Prefera carnea de pasare, peste si fructe de mare. mancarurile care le priesc Gemenilor sunt cele care contin mazare, fasole cu bobul lat, morcovi, nuci, dar mai ales migdale, alune si arahide. Plantele care au un efect benefic asupra acestui semn sunt lavanda si lacramioarele (in aromoterapie), feriga, origanul, semintele de anason si cele de chimen (sub forma de ceaiuri, uleiuri sau tincturi). Vitaminele indicate Gemenilor sunt vitamina B1 si vitamina F. Trebuie sa evite alimente ca oua, nuci, branza grasa. Sunt benefice prunele uscate, stafidele si caisele uscate, maslinele. Este cel mai bine sa bea vin slab sau tamaios. Cafeaua si orice stimulent inrautatesc sanatatea Gemenilor si trebuie evitate. Ceaiurile de plante au efect calmant.

Racul poate sa manance la orice ora din zi sau din noapte, e un gurmand, dar ii plac si lactatele, pireurile si sosurile. Alimentele cu efect tonifiant si regenerator asupra organismului Racilor sunt varza alba si rosie, napii, pestele, branza de vaci. Plantele cu efect bun in aromoterapie sunt trandafirii albi, nuferii si crinii. Tarhonul ajuta la refacerea stocului de saruri minerale, la fel verbina, iarba-surzilor si ochii-soarecelui mai ales sub forma de tincturi. Periodic, racii au nevoie de un aport de vitamina B2. Reprezentantii acestei zodii iau in greutate pe masura ce inainteaza in varsta. Pepenii rosii sunt foarte indicati, la fel legumele si fructele de mare. Trebuie sa fie cumpatati in privinta alcoolului, chiar si a berii. E mai bine sa bea vermut, in cantitati mici. Racului ii mai plac homarii, racii, nucile de cocos, papaya, varza, castravetii, dovleacul, cartofii, guliile, coaja de lamaie, scortisoara, hreanul, mustarul, vanilia. Dar sa evite zaharul si sarea, condimentele tari.

Leii nu pot manca orice carne

Leul face din fiecare masa un festin. Consuma multe proteine si zaharuri. Nu agreeaza alimentatia dietetica. Leilor nu le sta bine sa fie vegetarieni, carnea le fortifica organismul, la fel ca mierea si orezul, care trebuie sa faca parte constant din alimentatia lor, la fel ca spanacul, urzicile si lintea, care contin mult fier. Plantele in afinitate cu vibratiile solare sunt: floarea-soarelui, galbenelele si rostopasca. Ierburile aromatice precum sofranul, rozmarinul, menta, dafinul au efect terapeutic deosebit asupra organismului. Leii nu trebuie sa uite sa-si refaca energia luand vitaminele A, D si H2. sunt celebri pentru longevitatea lor, daca mananca alimentele indicate: carne de pui, fructe, crude sau uscate, vinete, masline, pepene galben, tarhon, anason, busuioc, coriandru, ghimbir. Ca bauturi alcoolice, i se potriveste vinul vechi. Trebuie sa evite mancarurile grase cu orice pret.

Cartofii sunt pentru Fecioare

Fecioara prefera alimentele crude, proaspete, pastele fainoase, dar totul trebuie sa fie disociat. Nativilor acestei zodii nu li se recomanda sa flamanzeasca prea mult. De asemenea, trebuie sa evite alimentele grele sau picante. Mersul cu bicicleta in mijlocul naturii este recomandat cat mai des. Fecioarelor le face foarte bine sa consume cartofi, gulii, telina. Ar trebui sa opteze pentru o dieta vegetariana, evitand carbea de porc si gratarul. Singura pe care si-o pot permite din cand in cand este carnea fiarta de pui, sau de vita, inabusita. Sa manance mere, caise, conopida, fasole, rodii si verdeturi din plin. Pentru ele, e bun doar vinul alb, cat mai slab. Plantele aromatice care ii fac bine Fecioarei sunt: dafin, cicoare, scortisoara, vanilie. Fecioarelor le place ciocolata, dar trebuie sa renunte la ea definitiv. O dieta echilibrata este esentiala pentru mentinerea sanatatii. Trebuie evitate condimentele, sosurile grele si prajelile.

Carnea nu e pentru Balante

Despre Balanta se spune ca mai mult gusta mancarea. Dar face exces la compoturi, gemuri, inghetata. Intr-o dieta astrologica, acestea trebuie evitate. Tendinta catre leneveala ii provoaca cearcane, migrene si predispozitia spre ingrasare. Regimul alimentar al Balantelor, carora le cam plac mancarurile grele, trebuie sa contina multe cereale, fructe de padure, sparanghel, fasole si, surprinzator, mai toate condimentele, in mod special ardeiul iute. Menta, sub orice forma, ajuta la sanatatea nervoasa, uleiul sau parfumul de trandafiri, de zambile si de toporasi calmeaza. Organismul le cere un aport sporit de vitamina F. O regula importanta pentru ele este sa nu consume tot ce le apare in fata. Li se recomanda usturoiul si merisorul. Micul dejun perfect este cel format din germeni de grau. Trebuie sa elimine din dieta lor mancarurile condimentate si iuti. Tind sa bea prea mult. Balantele ar trebui sa bea vin asezonat, in limite rezonabile. in dieta, trebuie sa renunte de tot la carne si la bauturi acidulate, dar sa consume multe mere, avocado, banane, cirese, pere, capsune, mure, curmale, mazare, spanac, rosii, tarhon, cimbru, anason, marar, trifoi." Sfecla e a Scorpionilor

Scorpionul mananca neregulat, dar intotdeauna cu pofta. Ii fac bine mancarurile condimentate (dar nu in exces), ceapa, urzica, prazul si ardeii capia. Un puternic efect linistitor, dar si afrodisiac, ii au asupra lor esenta de glicina, uleiul de rododendron si cel de aloe. Plantele medicinale recomandate acestui semn sunt alunul de munte. Siropul si decoctul de porumbele reduc febra mare pe care o fac Scorpionii. Pentru intarirea rezistentei organismului, au nevoie de vitaminele P si B12. Trebuie sa-si tina in frau apetitul pentru sosuri iuti. Cele mai indicate legume pentru ei sunt guliile, sfecla si varza. Produsele lactate, fructele de mare si delicatesele din peste sunt de asemenea benefice pentru sanatate. Trebuie sa bea alcool in cantitati moderate, singurele recomandate fiind vinul spumant si vinul tamaios. Branza la gratar, crustaceele, grapefruitul, pepenele rosu sunt recomandate aceste zodii. De asemenea, morcovi, ceapa, hamei, dovleac, ridichi, piper, ceapa rosie, busuioc, coriandru.

Sagetatorii sa bea apa minerala

Sagetatorul prefera alimentele exotice. Placerea de miscare este mare si ii face foarte bine, insa arareori o practica. Citricele, mai ales grapefruitul si coacazele rosii sau negre pot face minuni pentru un ficat obosit, reglandu-le si tensiunea. Ceapa si usturoiul, in cantitati cat mai mari, fortifica organismul, la fel, telina si dafinul. Scorpionului ii fac bine urmatoarele plante medicinale: anasonul, scortisoara, melisa si rasinile aromatice. Vitaminele de care are nevoie sunt: F, K, B6, H, I si J. Desi de obicei e suplu in tinerete, are tendinta de a se ingrasa odata cu varsta. Pentru Sagetatori, cel mai sanatos lucru e apa minerala, 1-2 sticle pe zi. Mai mult ca oricare altii, trebuie sa manance mazare, fasole si soia, marar si telina, smochine, mango, anghinare, varza, andiva, varza de Bruxelles, cimbru, menta, busuioc, patrunjel, lamai, ginseng, usturoi. Sagetatorii beau alcool cu placere. Trebuie sa se limiteze doar la mici cantitati de vin de struguri. mancarurile care nu se impaca bine cu stomacul unui Sagetator sunt grasimile, sosurile grase, frisca, untul, bomboanele si ciocolata.

Dieta variata a Capricornilor

Capricornul nu face din mancare un cult, nu e pretentios. Nu are tendinta de ingrasare si, in conditii de stres, pierde repede cateva kilograme. De obicei, prefera alimentele bogate in proteine si fier. Alimentele cu efect benefic asupra Capricornilor sunt: cartofii, pastele, maltul, ovazul, sfecla rosie si spanacul, ciupercile de padure, gutuile. Plantele aromatice si medicinale in afinitate cu planeta lor sunt: cinepa, tataneasa, matraguna si vinetelele. Mirosul discret de panselute, de vita cataratoare are un efect deosebit in aromoterapie. Capricornii se refac cu ajutorul vitaminei C si L1. Capricornii traiesc foarte mult. Dar, cum au metabolism greoi, ar trebui sa fie atenti la mancare. Si totusi, sunt singurii care pot manca orice doresc. Le este chiar recomandat sa bea un pahar de vin inainte de masa. Din alimentatia lui nu trebuie sa lipseasca sfecla, anasonul, pepenii, miezul de nuca, patrunjelul. Trebuie sa evite ciocolata, zaharul, condimentele tari. Sa varieza dieta, deoarece au tendinta sa manance zilnic acelasi lucru.

Varsatorilor le sunt interzise dulciurile

Varsatorul evita mancarurile grele. Simte nevoia alimentelor bogate in fosfor si carbohidrati (peste, cartofi, ciocolata). Cel mai indicat aliment pentru Varsatori il constituie fructele de toate felurile: fructele exotice (kiwi, mango), fructele uscate (caise, curmale, prune sau mere) ii ajuta sa-si recupereze energia psihica. in aromoterapie, esentele florilor de pomi fructiferi si parfumul orhideelor au efecte benefice. Plantele aromatice si condimentele recomandate sunt ardeiul iute, piperul alb sau negru sau curry. Toate vitaminele din complexul B au efect tonic asupra sistemului nervos. Varsatorii au nevoie de o dieta alimentara sanatoasa pentru a-si mentine greutatea in limite normale. Mananca prea multe sandwich-uri. Trebuie sa elimine dulciurile. Cel mai potrivit fruct este rodia. Lactatele pot reprezenta un mic dejun ideal, iar un chefir sau lapte prins sunt excelente pentru masa de seara. Salatele usoare de legume trebuie sa nu lipseasca de la nicio masa. Sampania sau vinul tamaios sunt bauturile alcoolice cel mai bine tolerate. Cele mai indicate alimente: fructe de mare, pepeni, gutui, sfecla, vinete, cimbru, menta, vanilie, patrunjel. De evitat: cafeaua.

Pestilor le pica bine pestii

Nativilor din Pesti le plac mesele romantice, la lumina luminarilor, cu meniu variat. Au nevoie de legume, peste, fructe de mare. Vitalitatea lor este scazuta, ceea ce de multe ori se datoreaza abuzului de alcool, tigari, sedative, tranchilizante. Organismul lor are tendinta de-a retine toxinele, de aceea, se impune un regim alimentar foarte echilibrat, cu suficiente lichide. Li se recomanda pe cat posibil, evitarea medicamentelor chimice, dar sa manance pepeni, castravesi, salata verde, sa apeleze la remedii naturiste pe baza de flori de tei, cicoare si muschiul de copac. Din nefericire, Pestii fac indigestie cel mai usor. Ar trebui sa nu consume peste conservat, mancaruri condimentate sau prajeli grase. E mai bine sa bea vodca pura decat bauturi exotice. Alimentele bune pentru Pesti sunt: pestele, smochinele, mango, anghinare, varza, varza de Bruxelles, tarhon, cimbru, ghimbir, usturoi, piper, coaja de lamaie. Pestii ar trebui sa evite sarea si sa reduca la minimum cafeaua si alcoolul.

Adopta obiceiurile zodiei opuse!

Prima conditie pentru o dieta eficienta este ca aceasta sa inceapa atunci cand Luna este in descrestere pentru ca in aceasta perioada organismul consuma intens tot ce i se furnizeaza. Potrivit specialistilor in diete astrologice, trebuie sa aflati care este zodia opusa celei in care v-ati nascut. Adoptand obiceiurile alimentare specifice nativilor din zodia opusa zodiei dumneavoastra, puteti slabi cel putin trei kilograme intr-o luna. Iata care sunt perechile de zodii diametral opuse: Berbec-Balanta, Taur-Scorpion, Gemeni-Sagetator, Rac-Capricorn, Leu-Varsator, Fecioara-Pesti.

- Berbec: consuma fructe si legume rosii. Un pahar de suc de portocale rosii baut dimineata si unul de tomate , la amiaza, vor accelera metabolismul.

- Taur: evita mincarurile grase, fructele dulci si prajiturile.

- Gemeni: renunta la chipsuri si covrigei in favoarea salatelor asortate, orez, porumb sau grau incoltit.

- Rac: opteaza pentru o dieta bazata pe legume fierte si supe de zarzavaturi.

- Leu: redu cantitatea de carne.

- Fecioara: ar fi bine sa consumi mai multe legume bogate in fibre, care te ajuta sa elimini toxinele.

- Balanta: alege aproape orice dieta, organismul tau reactioneaza bine.

- Scorpion: poti tine o cura cu alimente mai consistente, de exemplu carne, legume de toamna si fructe uscate.

- Sagetator: Nu ocoli legumele amare.

- Capricorn: acorda prioritate alimentelor bogate in vitamina C, oligoelemente si minerale.

- Varsator: nu neglija consumul de alimente bogate in magneziu si zinc

- Peste: baza regimului tau trebuie sa fie lamaia, verdeturile, pestele si carnea slaba.

Craciun fericit!

Aseara m-am apucat de facut turta dulce :) . Dragut nu-i asa? . Prima oara in viata mea. Mai pe experiment asa? (Cum zice Chivu in reclama) . Am gasit o reteta pe internet , numai stiu unde, dar daca va apuca si pe voi experimentele gasiti orice cu Google.

In rest toate cele bune pentru aceste sarbatori, sa le petreceti cum vreti voi si cel mai important e sa va simtiti bine si sa-l asteptati pe Mos Craciun ( daca ati fost cuminiti).

F. Pentru decor am folosit "creioane pentru decor-Dr. Oetker"cumparate din Cora. Cred ca se gasesc in orice supermarket.

Recomand sa fie mancate dupa ce se racesc :) sunt mai gustoase.

Si un pic mai jos sunt cateva poze facute azi cu "Mosul David".

Costumasul e de la Laura, de anul trecut il avem si am fost foarte bucuroasa sa vad ca inca ii mai vine si anul asta, un pic mai stramt dar merge :D .

Vineri de cotitură

Gata, m-am trezit perfect decisă: schimb tematica blogului. E clar că treaba asta cu jurnalul personal devine periculoasă, că întotdeauna se vor găsi oameni să mă certe fie că scriu personal, fie că nu scriu îndeajuns de personal, că prea mă plîng sau că prea mă bucur, că sînt nebună, extremistă și exhibiționistă și încă o altă seamă de calități deosebite pe care nu vi le doresc și vouă.

blog culinar nu pot face, unul că nu-s așa talentată la gătit și al doilea că aud că se fură puternic poze și rețete și de-acolo. Dar ar fi frumos și liniștit, că ce pasiuni și conflicte răvășitoare poate stîrni un amestec de ou și costiță afumată cu tarhon? Lumea iubește mîncarea mai mult decît iubește sinceritatea. Sau mai bine zis, lumea urăște mîncarea mullt mai puțin decît urăște sinceritatea.

Blog despre mămicie iar nu pot face, pentru că teritoriu mai minat ca ăsta nu există. E suficient să povestești senină la ce unghi aplici uleiul de măsline pe fundul bebelușului să sară 100 de alte mămici mai talentate să-ți spună că-ți traumatizezi copilul și că mîine pe vremea asta o să-ți bată protecția copilului la ușă, denaturato!

Blog de fotografie. Da, asta ar fi drăguț, cameră am, obiective am, problema e că talentul meu e ăla la scris, și nah, o poză face cît 1000 de cuvinte, deci practic n-ar mai fi voie și nevoie să scriu. Ceea ce ar fi trist pentru mine. Și pînă una alta, fără să minimizez dragul meu de oameni, blogul meu e despre și pentru mine. Nu pot face un blog care să mă frustreze. Plus că urmează un an în care-o să stau mai mult acasă, cîte colțuri de mansardă să și fotografiez interesant?

Blog de beauty e exclus. Nu prea folosesc produse de cosmetică, mă machiez rar, nu merg niciodată la nici un salon. Aș termina tot ce am de spus despre subiect într-un post de două rînduri.

Blog de sex. Ăsta ar trebui scris din amintiri, că de cînd cu burta cea proeminentă, e complicat logistic să ne manevrăm corpul întru plăceri nemăsurate. Plus că mă citesc mama, bunica și soacra, șefii mei și colegii soțului. Ar fi cel puțin ciudat pentru toată lumea, mi se pare.

Blog literar. Ei da, asta ar varianta safe, ia uite la Iv cel naiv ce frumos scrie el despre orice fără să-i sară nimeni în cap că prea a fost alb, negru, gri sau prea el însuși. Am încercat să scriu texte care nu-s despre mine, dar la două paragrafe sub titlu, orice personaj ajunge să fie eu. Nu știu să scriu altfel încă, nu pot crea nimic care să n-aibă legătură strînsă cu mine. Probabil trebuie să mai cresc. Literar vorbind, că fizic nu-mi mai încap în piele.

Să desenez nu știu, nici să cînt, să fac puzzle devine tot mai clar în fiecare seară că NU mă pricep, mă pricep să ascult, dar nu știu cum aș putea transforma asta în ceva de accesat de către voi cei mulți. Știu să nu mint, să muncesc, să scriu, să mănînc, să iubesc, să fiu recunoscătoare. Ce să fac cu toate astea, ca să nu renunț la regat? În ce să le transform? Nu e retoric, chiar întreb. Ca să-mi răspundeți, adică.


pentru cei cu simtul umorului .

S tudenta blonda sustine examenul la Economie. Subiectul : teoria economica a lui Adam Smith. Profesorul, in varsta, observa ca studenta nu are idee despre teoria economica si dorind, totusi, s-o promoveze o intreba:
- Dar care este prenumele lui Smith?
Fata se uita in sala – poate vre-un coleg ii va sopti, dar in zadar.
- Hai amintiti-va, este atat de simplu!
Fara rezultat. Profului i se face mila de studenta si parinteste o intreaba:
- Atunci, spune-mi: cum il chema pe primul barbat?
Fata rosind si evident rusinata raspunde:
- Petrica …

Acum 2 zile am fost invitata la o petrecere numai cu femei si i-am promis sotului ca ma intorc la 12 noaptea. Orele treceau, noi ne simteam bine, sampania curgea, asa ca doar pe la 3 dimineata m-am indreptat spre casa, beata crita.
Tocmai cand am ajuns la usa , ceasul cu cuc din holul casei a inceput sa cante de 3 ori. Dandu-mi seama ca sotul meu o sa se trezeasca si o sa-l auda, am mai facut eu cu-cu de inca 9 ori. Am fost tare mandra de ce idee geniala am avut - chiar fiind beata pulbere - ca sa evit un conflict familial.
A doua zi dimineata, sotul meu m-a intrebat la ce ora am venit si cand i-am spus ca la 12, nu a parut foarte surprins (uufff, am scapat!). Dupa putin timp insa mi-a spus ca trebuie sa ne cumparam un nou ceas cu cuc. L-am intrebat, de ce?
— Pai, asta noapte cucul a cantat de 3 ori, apoi a zis "futu-i", a mai cantat de 4 ori, si-a dres vocea, a mai cantat de 3 ori, s-a hlizit, a mai cantat de 2 ori dupa care a ras un sfert de ora .

Un barbat surprins la amanta de catre sot, sare de la etajul XX. In cadere se gandeste: "Nu puteam sa stau acasa cu nevasta. sa mananc un gratar. sa beau un sprit. si cine stie poate sa fac si sex."
Cade cu noroc pe o capitza de iarba proaspat cosita din spatiul verde al blocului si, imbracandu-si izmenele, cugeta: "Doamne, cum e omul. numai doua secunde am fost disperat si cate prostii mi-au trecut prin cap. "

Un tip intra in farmacie si cere un pachet de prezervative.
- Ce numar doriti? Intreaba farmacista.
- Nu stiu.
- Luati tabla asta cu gauri de diferite marimi si mergeti la toaleta sa vedeti.
Dupa minute bune tipul revine.
- Ei ce numar sa fie? Intreaba farmacista.
- Da-le dracului de prezervative, cat face tabla?

Blonda completeaza un formular pentru o slujba. Cu mari eforturi reuseste sa treaca de rubricile nume varsta adresa…etc. Ajunge la ultima rubrica:
Salariu dorit. Dupa cateva minute de gandire scrie : DA.

Presedintele Bush si secretarul de stat Colin Powell stãteau într-un bar.

Un tip intrã si îl întreabã pe barman:

- Nu-s ãia presedintele Bush si Colin Powell acolo la masã?

- Da, ei sînt, rãspunde barmanul. Asa cã tipul se duce la si le zice:

- Plãnuim al treilea rãzboi mondial, zice Bush.

- Serios? si ce o sã se întîmple?

- O sã omorîm 140 de milioane de irakieni si o blondã cu tîte mari, zice Bush. La care tipul:

- O blonda cu tîte mari? De ce o blondã cu tîte mari?

Bush se întoarce spre Powell, îl bate pe umãr si zice:

- Vezi, bã desteptule, ti-am zis eu cã n-o sã-i pese nimãnui de 140 de milioane de irakieni!

O studenta, dornica sa afle ce ii rezerva viitorul, merge la o prezicatoare. Dupa ce ii da in carti, femeia o priveste cu seriozitate si ii spune:
- In viata dumitale, in curand o sa apara un barbat tanar. Va fi dragut, cu ochi albastri, obraji roz, bucalati. Va avea, insa, par putin si va cantari patru kilograme.

Seful catre secretara:
— Cine ti-a spus ca doar pentru ca te-am sarutat de cateva ori ai dreptul sa lenevesti toata ziua?
— Avocatul meu.

M-am sculat cu stangul. Mi-am imbracat camasa, s-a rupt nasturele, am luat servieta, i s-a rupt toarta, deja mi-e frica sa ma duc la buda.

In Bucuresti, un autobuz tocmai se pregatea sa inchida usile si sa plece din statie. Soferul vede un om alergand disperat spre autobuz si il asteapta. Omul ajunge si il intreaba pe sofer:
- Ce masina e asta?
- Iveco! zise soferul si pleaca.

Un tip merge la Minister sa caute de lucru.
Cel care ii ia interviul il intreaba : 'Ai facut armata ?'
'Da, raspunde omul. Am fost in Afganistan timp de 2 ani'.
'Bun, asta iti va aduce niste puncte suplimentare, zice angajatorul.
Ai fost ranit sau ceva de genul asta ?'
'Da, zice omul, o grenada a cazut langa mine si mi-a smuls testiculele'
'Foarte bine, zice angajatorul. Vino maine dimineata pe la 10'.
Omul intreaba surprins : 'Dar daca programul este de la 8 la 16, de ce trebuie sa vin eu de la 10 ?'
'Pai, zice angajatorul, asta e o slujba la Minister. Primele doua ore stam degeaba si ne scarpinam la bilute. n-are rost sa vii si tu pentru asta.'

Un tip cu amanta in pat. La un moment dat suna cineva la usa . Amanta calma ii spune sa fie linistit ca e sotul, dar rezolva ea! Se duce la usa deschide si spune:
- Aaaaa, iubi ce bine ca ai venit. Du si tu gunoiul, si ii pune galeata de gunoi in mana.
Sotul pleaca. Amantul se imbraca, pleca linistit si cand coborara gandeste. "Si frumoasa si desteapta. "
Ajungand acasa, suna la usa , deschide sotia si ii spune:
- Aaaaaa, iubi, de bine ca ai venit! Du si tu gunoiul asta!
Ia galeata, coboara scarile si in sinea lui zice: "Si urata si cu tupeu!"

Un emo urca intr-un autobuz. Parul sau era facut spice, colorat verde,rosu,albastru si portocaliu. Hainele ii erau o amestecatura de cirpe si piele, picioarele ii erau goale si corpul ii era plin de cercei. Se asaza pe singurul loc liber, exact in fata unui batrin, care se tot holba la el. - Ce te tot holbezi, mosule? Ce, tu n-ai facut nimic aiurea cind erai tinar? Batrinul: - Ba da. Odata, cind eram in marina, m-am imbatat in Singapore si am violat un papagal. Ma gindeam acum daca nu cumva esti fiul meu.

Suna soneria. Sotia disperata se roaga:
- Doamne fa sa dispara amantul, iar sotul sa nu stie nimic. La care un glas din inalturile cerului spune:
- Bine, fie. te scap. dar cand o sa mori o sa ti se traga de la apa.
Sotia a fost bucuroasa ca a scapat de amant, gandindu-se ca in ceea ce priveste apa. va avea grija si se va feri. Peste un timp apare o
oferta de nerefuzat pentru o croaziera pe mare, impreuna cu toate prietenele ei. Se duce femeia in excursie, cand deodata incepe o furtuna.
Femeia iar se roaga:
- Doamne, stiu ca mi-ai spus ca o sa mor din cauza apei. dar acum, gandeste-te. sunt atatia oameni nevinovati. pentru mine o sa omori toti oamenii de pe acest vas?
La care glasul raspunde:
- De-ai sti de cati ani ma chinui sa va adun pe toate la un loc.

Jack si prietenii lui s-au dus sa joace golf intr-o sambata.
Cand erau pregatiti sa joace un tip necunoscut a venit la ei si i-a
intrebat daca poate sa li se alature. Dupa cateva lovituri unul din prietenii lui Jack era curios sa stie ce meserie are tipu' asa ca l-au intrebat. Tipu' a spus ca este un assasin platit, iar ei au inceput sa rada. Tipu' a spus ca nu glumeste, are pusca in geanta de golf si ca pot sa se uite sa se convinga. Asa ca Jack a hotarat sa verifice geanta tipului. si spre surprinderea lui. in geanta era intradevar o pusca cu o luneta mare. Jack l-a intrebat pe tip daca poate sa se uite sa-si vada casa prin luneta. Cand Jack s-a uitat, si-a vazut casa si fereastra de la dormitor, a
vazut-o si pe sotia lui, era dezbracata. si pe vecinul lui. si el era dezbracat. Nervos l-a intrebat pe assasin cat il costa sa-i omoare.
Tipu' a spus ca 1.000$ pt. fiecare foc nimerit.
Jack: "1..000$! Bine. vreau 2 focuri. Vreau sa o impusti pe sotie in gura pt. ca m-am saturat sa o tot aud zi de zi, si pe vecinul meu in sula pt. ca a indraznit sa se culce cu sotia mea".
Assasinul a spus ca este de acord, s-a pregatit si a inceput sa se uite prin luneta. Dupa vreo 5 min.
Jack plin de nerabdare, l-a intrebat de ce ii trebuie atat de mult. Asasinul: "Stai calm! Incerc sa-ti economisesc 1000$. "

Care sunt cele mai bune 3 lucruri pe lume?
- Un coniac inainte, si o tigara dupa.

Ionel si Marioara erau amandoi pacienti intr-un spital de boli mintale. Intr-o zi, pe cand se plimbau pe langa piscina spitalului, Ionel a sarit brusc in apa, a inotat pana la fund si a ramas acolo. Marioara a sarit repede sa-l salveze. A inotat si ea pana la fund si l-a scos pe Ionel din apa. La auzul acestei fapte eroice, asistenta sefa a ordonat ca Marioara sa fie externata din spital, deoarece o considera acum stabila mintal. Asistenta s-a dus la Marioara sa-i dea vestea si i-a spus:
- Marioara, am o veste buna si una rea. Vestea buna este ca vei fi externata din moment ce ai fost capabila sa reactionezi in mod rational la o criza si sa salvezi viata unui alt pacient, am ajuns la concluzia ca fapta ta dovedeste o deplina sanatate mintala. Vestea rea e ca Ionel, pacientul pe care l-ai salvat, s-a spanzurat cu cordonul de la halat in baie. Imi pare nespus de rau, dar a murit. La aceasta, Marioara raspunse:
- Nu s-a spanzurat. L-am pus eu acolo sa se usuce. Cand pot sa merg acasa?

Video: Best Moments from the Pink Panther Films (August 2022).